She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
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Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
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I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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