So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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