It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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