Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
