can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
