Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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