my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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