FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
