I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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