I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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