Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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