you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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