break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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