If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
