If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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