covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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