before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
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don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
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dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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