So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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