Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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