did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
