that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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