im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
