But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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