I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize