$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
