im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
