You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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