How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
