Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize