We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
