umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
