Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
