I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I see more hoeing in ur future
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