I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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