woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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