Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
