I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
