Dual....:-)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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