There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize