Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize