K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
