You made me cry and you don't even care
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
