She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
