I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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