so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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