i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
