bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize