Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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