He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
