I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
