I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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