Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think I sprained my soul last night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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