She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My cat gives me a boner
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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