ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize