Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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