Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
